My Big Fat Cajun Wedding

On December 8, 1990, I got married. It was my first trip to Louisiana, and my staid protestant family met my new loud, fun catholic in-laws. Like the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, my stiff northeasterners got swallowed up in merry-making, and had a blast. First, the rehearsal dinner speeches started with the restauranteur welcoming everyone with a dirty joke. Wary looks were exchanged, but fortunately none of my family understood his thick Cajun accent (enhanced by a few drinks). Except it had something to do with ducks and condoms.

For our 30th Anniversary this month, there’s no Big Fat Events. COVID in Acadiana’s hospitals is up to apocalyptic volumes, added to our usual winter big numbers of patients. This new bump started with pre-Thanksgiving gatherings. For example, some parents rented party buses for Homecomings, finding the distancing, outdoor events planned by schools too nerdy. Those unmasked teens spread the virus to each other, then on to their families. Then Thanksgiving happened, and it’s a bump on top of a bump.

Fortunately for children, they aren’t getting as sick as adults with Coronavirus. There’s some coughing and fever, maybe a headache, and recovery in a few days. Many fewer children get as gravely ill as adults do.  Unfortunately, Emergency Departments, Intensive Care Units, regular beds, and even ambulances are clogged by the sheer numbers of very sick, even dying, grown-ups.

It doesn’t seem to be the schools’ fault. They’ve been careful with their protocols,  enforcing mask-wearing and distancing. It’s parents not following the basic containment rules: teaching kids to wash hands and wear masks properly (cover BOTH nose and mouth). Their violation of distancing rules in allowing, even arranging, spreader events, has been responsible for the current calamity. Maybe enough of them and their elderly parents have gotten sick now, that we’ve all learned our lesson.

So please, from all of us working at hospitals, please plan a Quiet Christmas: no parties, no big family events. Just you and your kids at home opening presents, virtual church, and grandparents at a distance, preferably on facetime. Thus we can have as merry a Christmas as possible.

Another event during my Big Fat Cajun Wedding 30 years ago was the Thursday Gumbo. My family of stiff protestant Northeasters wondered, what’s “A Gumbo?” A gathering? Brown soup? But they were swept up in the milling, laughter, and noisy chatter, and even calling for seconds on the brown soup. I get misty-eyed watching the video; so many of our parents and family have passed on.

Also when I watch that video, I first wonder “Why is everyone so close together?” Then I remember: oh, that was life before COVID. Hopefully, no one’s planning any Big Fat Events for this Christmas. Too many friends and family have been in the hospital, in ICU, or died, to risk making more Christmas tragedies.

As mentioned above, Coronavirus cases have ramped up since October, with too many kids and adults having big risky gatherings. Acadiana’s hospitals are clogged with cases, adding to the usual winter high volume. Being careful, not succumbing to “COVID fatigue”, is key to survival. It’s a sneaky virus, being so contagious and spreading through asymptomatic kids and adults. We’ve got to cinch up on the mask-wearing, distancing, and hand-washing; to get through the next few months as the vaccine rolls out. Fortunately for us in Louisiana, we get to go back outdoors in February or March. My unlucky Northern family will still be shoveling snow.

As for vaccine safety, I’m not worried; I’ll happily start mine in the next few weeks!  The vaccines have been carefully studied and well-scrutinized. Mythbuster: there’s no microchips in the injection. Nanotechnology is amazing, but just isn’t there yet, so don’t worry that Government will track you through the vaccine. Like they want to watch me anyway: “Hey, look, Scott’s driving to work. Now he’s napping. Wow, he’s mowing the lawn.” If they really wanted such information, it’s much cheaper and doable to spy on us through our phones.

So again, plan a Quiet Christmas. Fewer people, no parties, fewer presents. Just you and your kids at home, and visit other family on-line. That way next Christmas can be a happier one, with no melancholy watching of this year’s videos.

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